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December 21st, 2002

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09:32 pm
> Answering Machine at Dr. Pat's Office .
> . . "Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline..."
> If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
> If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
> If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
> If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the
> line so we can trace your call.
> If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the
> mother ship.
> If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell
> you which number to press.
> If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no
> one will answer.
> If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
> If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a
> representative comes on the line.
> If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone
> number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden
> name.
> If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y &
> c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.
> If you have a bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or
> before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
> If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term
> memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you
> have short-term memory loss, press 9.
> If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to
> talk to you."
> If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lay down &cry. You
> won't be crazy forever.
> If you are blonde don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

(1 comment | Leave a comment)


Date:February 16th, 2003 12:13 am (UTC)
OMG that is TOO funny.
i might have to steal this one from you.

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